Take Charge of Your Life

"When you take charge of your life, there is no longer need to ask permission of other people or society at large." (Geoffrey F. Abert)

In his book Goals, Brian Tracy devotes a chapter to taking charge of your life.  He says that only you are responsible for everything you do.  It is up to you to create opportunities for yourself to achieve your goals.  Don't just wait for the right time -- act!  If you stay in your comfort zone, you will never realize your true potential.  Take the risk.  Step outside of your comfort zone.  

"Action springs not from thought but from a readiness to take responsibility," according to Dietrich Bonhoeffer.  Taking charge of your life means taking responsibility for it -- the good, the bad and the ugly.  It means accepting what can't be changed and changing what can be changed (the old Serenity Prayer).  

Tracy points out that blaming others gets you nowhere.  When you blame others, you give up your power to change.  You become a victim rather than a victor.  Don't wait for others to change.  You only have the power to change yourself. When you change, often others will follow suit.  For instance, the fiance who thinks she is going to change her future husband's bad habits is usually sadly mistaken.  However, she can work on her own bad habits.  Changing her own behaviour might be a positive influence on her future husband's behaviour.

I'll leave you with one thought:  "If you don't build your dream, someone will hire you to build theirs." (Dhiruhbai Ambani)

For more information, visit www.positivityblog.com.

Read Take Charge of Your Life by Dr. William Glasser at http://www.amazon.ca/Take-Charge-Your-Life-Choice-Theory/dp/1462037437.

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Identify Your Major Definite Purpose

"What would be the one thing that would wake you out of bed in the morning and get you fired up for your day?" (www.sourceofinsight.com)

Brian Tracy devotes a chapter to "Your Major Definite Purpose" in his book Goals:  How to Get Everything You Want -- Faster Than You Every Thought Possible   Imagine what you would like to be known for long after you die.  What would you like your tombstone inscription to read?  

Tracy outlines steps to identify your major definite purpose:

1.  It is something that you personally want, not that someone else has suggested.  It should excite you, make you happy.  

2.  It should be clear and specific.  When written down, it should be something that a child could understand.

3.  It should be measurable ex.  I would like to earn $100,000 by June 1, 2016.  Or, as an ESL instructor, I would like to teach ten people how to speak and write English fluently.

4.  It should be believable and achievable (at least 50% success rate).  For instance, if you want to become a millionaire within a year and you have no money in your bank account, such a goal is likely not within your reach.  It might serve to discourage rather than motivate you.

5.  Your major definite goal should be in harmony with all of your other goals.  

6.  Your major definite goal will likely help you achieve many of your other goals.

Don't think that you need to have a paying job to have a purpose.  As Rick Warren says "If you're alive, you have a purpose."  Your purpose might be to raise the next generation as a stay at home mom.  Your purpose might be to help others as a volunteer at your child's school, at the general hospital, at the local playhouse or at the neighbourhood soccer field.   Volunteers really do make the world go round.  Your purpose might be to start a daily blog.  I still derive great joy from mine, even after almost five years of blogging!  Having a purpose makes you feel alive; it gives you a feeling of self-worth.  Everyone needs a major definite purpose.  What's yours?

For more information, read The Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren at 

http://www.amazon.com/Purpose-Driven-Life-Rick-Warren/dp/0310205719.

Surround Yourself with Who You Want to Be

"Associate yourself with people of good quality.  It is better to be alone than in bad company." (Booker T. Washington)

You don't do it alone.  You need help along the road to success.  You need help in your effort to achieve your life's goals.  If you are a business person, seek out talented people.  As Henry Ford said: "I am not the smartest, but I surround myself with competent people."  Develop potential leaders. Once your business grows, and you have to delegate responsibility, you can assign managerial tasks to these leaders.

Seek out the best employees.  Author P.J. O'Rourke, when writing about the Vietnam War protests and Women's Movement, maintained that:  "It's the beautiful women who are always on the edge of social trends."  While you don't necessarily have to hire beautiful people, you should hire professional looking people.  How you look after yourself says a lot about your personality; it shows you care.   

Create an environment of collegiality.  Learn how to build people up.  I once taught for a principal who had a talent for building his teachers up.  He focussed on our strengths, rather than our weaknesses.  I would have followed him anywhere, to any school, but he retired shortly after that.  

Joel Osteen says:  "Surround yourself with people that inspire you,  that challenge you to rise higher, that make you better."  If you are a student, seek out fellow students who will do just that.  When my husband Rob was in university, he had a friend who was always questioning Rob's work ethic.  "Why do you work so hard?" he asked.  "I barely try and I'm getting grades almost as good as you."  So, after two years of being on the Dean's Honour List, Rob slacked off in his third year.  He didn't make it on the honour roll.  In the meantime, his friend was furiously working away, trying to achieve "A's".  Mid-way through third year, Rob decided to pull up his socks and his grades gradually climbed back up.  His friend, however, couldn't sustain the pace.  He dropped out at the end of the year.  By fourth year, thankfully, Rob was back on the Dean's Honour List.   

Seek out people who build you up, who rejoice with you in your success.  Maybe you are a couple trying to adopt a baby.  I remember when Rob and I were on the waiting list to adopt a baby.  We had friends at the time who were also trying to adopt.  I took a proactive stance by completing a home study and getting on two waiting lists.  I also circulated 400 business cards telling people that my husband and I were searching for a baby to adopt.  While I heard several horror stories about couples waiting ten years and still not getting a child, I hung on to two local success stories.  If they could do it, so could we!  Meanwhile, my friend sat at home and did nothing.  Within a year and a half, I called her with the exciting news that we had a baby.  She did not sound happy for me.  In fact, she asked:  "Why did you get a baby instead of me?"  

Seek out people who you can trust.  If you're running a business, trust is tantamount. Trustworthy employees are worth their weight in gold.  You are not just trusting them with your money, but also your reputation.  Trustworthy business associates are also valuable.  If you open a business with someone, check their record first.  Are they already in massive debt? Did they already fail at business once (or more)?  

Say you're looking for a potential mate.  A trustworthy spouse not only helps build a good marriage, but also a good family.  You need someone who will make a good husband or wife.  Just as importantly, someone who will be a good role model for your future children (or present children, if you are widowed or divorced).  Choosing a spouse will likely be the most important decision you ever make.  Choose wisely!  

Seek out positive people.  "We become part of what we are around."  If you hang around people who are constantly swearing, chances are you are going to pick up the habit.  If you associate with people who are constantly complaining, odds are you will start grumbling too.  If you surround yourself with lazy people, chances are your productivity level will also go down.    Seek out people who have a talent for seeing the glass as half full, rather than half empty.  As Roy Bennett says:  "You cannot surround yourself with negative people and expect positive outcomes." 

Seek out others who are striving for a common goal.  Draw on their inspiration and encouragement. It's comforting to meet others who are in the same boat as you, to know that you are not in it alone.   

Note:  For more information, read The Winning Side:  How to Associate Yourself with Success by Stanley F. Bronstein http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/the-winning-side-how-to-associate-yourself-with-success/.

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Create Your Future

"Where there is no vision, the people will perish." (Proverbs 18:29)

In his book Goals, Brian Tracy highlights a study of 3300 successful leaders.  The number one quality that they all possessed was vision.  Their long term perspective led to financial and personal success.  

Tracy recommends that you envision a five-year plan.   Idealize what your business or family life will be like five years from now.  Practise "blue sky thinking":  just as the sky seems limitless, so too are your plans for the future.  Imagine anything is possible.  Write down what your job situation will look like:  your co-workers, tasks, level of responsibility, goals and status.  Estimate what your finances will look like: your salary, mortgage, bank account, investments, retirement.  Envision your family life:  spouse, children, extended family.  How will your health fare ex. appearance, weight, diet, exercise?  Will you be involved in the community ex. charity, volunteering?  Will you practise self-improvement strategies ex. go back to school, update your skills?  The author maintains that often people overestimate their yearly goals and yet underestimate their five-year plan. 

I remember back  to the Christmas of 1997:  my sister Lisa had us all do a visualization exercise at my parents' house.  She handed out pieces of paper and asked us all to write down ten goals and put them in an envelope to be examined five years hence.  My number one goal was having a child, as was Lisa's, I suspect.  At the time we had both been married for several years and yet remained childless.  Well, we didn't have to wait five years.  The following Christmas, I brought my bundle of joy to my parents' house and my mom snapped a picture of him under the Christmas tree.  Two years after the goal writing session, Lisa brought her bundle of joy to my parents' house and my nephew and son played together by the foot of the Christmas tree.  

Have a long term vision.  Write it down.  The sky's the limit!  Watch how God acts in your life.

Note:  For more information about visualization, read my post "Conceive, Believe, Achieve" at 

http://alinefromlinda.blogspot.ca/2015/01/conceive-believe-achieve.html.

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Clarify Your Values

"Any attempt to live on the outside in a manner that contradicts the values you hold on the inside will cause you stress, negativity, unhappiness, pessimism, and even anger and frustration." (Brian Tracy)



Google's definition of values are "a person's principles or standards of behaviour; one's judgement of what is important in life."  Brian Tracy says that before you set out on the journey to achieve your goals, you need to clarify your values.  Think about what you want to be known for, what you represent.  Imagine what you would like people to write about you in your obituary.  As Dr. Gordon Eadie said about American soldiers fighting the enemy in World War II: "If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything."

Ideal values in the workplace include:  hard work, dependability, cooperation, initiative, ambition and high performance.  Ideal values within the family include:  unconditional love, patience, forgiveness, generosity, kindness and attentiveness.  Ideal values with regard to money and finances include: honesty, thrift, education, industry, persistence and performance.  Integrity is high up on the list of values.  A millionaire once said:  "Integrity is the value that guarantees all the other values."

Brian Tracy points out that your values need to be congruent with your goals.  "Be sure that as you scramble up the ladder of success, it is leaning against the right building," warns Stephen Covey.  If you are an environmentalist, you are not going to fit it at a factory where workers dump toxic waste into the nearby river.  He says that the people who are the happiest in this world are those whose behaviour is consistent with their beliefs.

Tracy maintains that people demonstrate their true values in their actions, especially when under pressure.  An example that comes to mind is my old neighbours.  They said that they loved their dogs, but they never walked them, they chained them up and ignored them.  Then, when times get tough and they were evicted from their home, they abandoned the dogs in the house, trapped inside with no air during a heat wave, walking around in their own filth.

"As within, so without" is a good motto to live by.  Whatever you put into your body or fill your mind with, often comes out in your thoughts and/or actions.  If you do nothing but watch violent movies, play violent video games, read violent books, listen to violent music and use violent language, chances are you are going to have violent thoughts and/or show violent behaviour.  By the same token, if you keep a positive attitude, watch positive shows, read positive books, listen to positive music and use positive language, chances are you are going to have both positive thoughts and actions.

Note:  For more information, read The Power of Positive Thinking by Norman Vincent Peale http://www.amazon.ca/Discovering-Positive-Thinking-Norman-Vincent/dp/8122204120.

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Manage Your Time Well

"Time slips through our hands like grains of sand, never to return again.  Those who use time wisely are rewarded with rich, productive, satisfying lives." (Robin Sharma)

When I was a child and a young adult, I used to arrive early for everything.  I was so well organized that I was rarely late for anything.  However, once I had children, my life became busier.  Now I find myself arriving on time or even a few minutes late.  I try to pack too much into my day.  If you are like me, here are some tips to help you manage your time well.  

1.  Make a to do list for the day, week, month.  Prioritize your tasks from most to least important/urgent.  

2.  Balance urgent tasks with tasks that can be done gradually in your daily routine.

3.  Focus on your most productive time of the day.  

4.  Manage your time in increments of 15, 30 or 45 minutes each.  

5.  Periodically (ideally every 45 minutes) take a break to refresh your mind and re-energize your body.

6.  Keep track of your progress.

7.  Reassess your to do list.  Add or take away tasks.  Delegate tasks.

8.  Leave time for fun to refresh your mind and relax your body.

9.  Sleep 7 to 9 hours per night to give you optimum alertness and energy.

10.  Don't spread yourself too thin.j

11.  Take advantage of small gaps of time between larger tasks to accomplish something.  A few minutes here and there adds up to a big chunk of time.  Note:  When I first took part in Nanowrimo, writing a 50,000 novel in a month, I realized that I had to do this in order to meet my daily word count. It worked wonders!

12.  Complete each task from beginning to end.  Set "way points" where you reward yourself with something small once you have completed a big chunk of the task.  

13.  Give yourself a Planning Retreat where you spend a day planning your goals for the year.  Visit http://thehumbledhomemaker.com/your-retreat-ebook?ap_id=sheilagregoire for more ideas.  

For more tips on time management, visit http://www.wikihow.com/Manage-Your-Time.  

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The Superconscious Mind

Henry Ford conceived an idea.  The engineers at the Edison Illuminating Company, where he was employed, however, said it would never work.  Henry told them "Just do it."  The result was the internal combustion engine.  For more information on the combustion engine, read http://www.nbutterfield.com/Pages/HenryFordfirstengine.aspx.

Where did Ford's idea come from?  The upper recesses of his mind. Sigmund Freud called it the superego, Ralph Waldo Emerson, the oversoul, Alfred Adler, the collective unconscious, Carl Jung, the superconscious, non-scientists, intuition, and Christians, the Christ consciousness or Holy Spirit.

One website says that when an idea hails from the superconscious, it has three attributes:

1.  It answers every aspect of the problem you are seeking a solution for.
2.  It is a "blinding flash of the obvious".
3.  It's like a burst of happiness or excitement, an "Aha!" moment where the "lightbulb" goes on in your mind.

How to you access our superconscious mind?  According to Brian Tracy, you have two options: either immerse your heart and soul into achieving your goal or immerse yourself in a completely different activity and the answer you are looking for will suddenly appear.  To activate the superconscious, you need to be calm, confident and relaxed.  Seek out silence.  Thomas Edison used to take regular naps throughout the day to stimulate his mind, resulting in over 1000 inventions.

If you want inspiration to achieve your goals, access your superconscious.  Meditate on it, pray on it. The lightbulb will go on.  And you will create the next internal combustion engine (even though your co-workers will say it can't be done).

*For more information about the superconscious mind, read The Conscious, Unconscious and Super-Conscious Mind by Gurdip Hari (2005) at http://www.jasminpublishing.com/Conscious.html.

*For more information about the Holy Spirit, read The Holy Spirit:  Amazing Power for Everyday People by Susan Rohrer (2011) at http://www.amazon.ca/The-Holy-Spirit-Amazing-Everyday/dp/1475176627.

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