Delayed Gratification Leads to Success

Last year I blogged about delayed gratification and the Marshmallow Experiment conducted by a Stanford professor (http://alinefromlinda.blogspot.ca/2015/01/the-marshmallow-experiment-delayed.html).  The professor selected a group of children who each were given a marshmallow.  He told them that he had to complete a small errand and would return shortly.  If they delayed eating the marshmallow until he returned, they would received a second marshmallow.  However, if they ate the marshmallow right away, they would not.  Follow up studies that he conducted showed that those who waited until he returned and received a second marshmallow completed college at higher rates and earned higher incomes.

I did nor realize that the Stanford professor conducted a second study.  This time, he offered the children a marshmallow with the promise of a second one upon his return.  However, he had control groups as well.  Group 1 was to imagine that the marshmallow was like a cloud:  round, white and puffy.  Group 2 was to imagine how sweet and chewy and soft the marshmallows were.  Group 3 was to focus on another tasty treat:  crunchy, salty pretzels.  Picturing the pretzels produced the longest delay in gratification.  The professor concluded that the most effective way to delay gratification is to focus on another pleasure (unavailable at the time).

Regardless of how you delay gratification, the point is that high-delay children lead to happier, more successful adults.  In this instant gratification society, it is difficult to resist the urge to go for the quick fix.  Learn how to control your impulses.  Remember:  "Good things come to those who wait".

Note:  Read The Undefeated Mind by Dr. Lickerman.

http://lens.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/09/18/must-22/?_r=0

Clarify Your Values

"Any attempt to live on the outside in a manner that contradicts the values you hold on the inside will cause you stress, negativity, unhappiness, pessimism, and even anger and frustration." (Brian Tracy)



Google's definition of values are "a person's principles or standards of behaviour; one's judgement of what is important in life."  Brian Tracy says that before you set out on the journey to achieve your goals, you need to clarify your values.  Think about what you want to be known for, what you represent.  Imagine what you would like people to write about you in your obituary.  As Dr. Gordon Eadie said about American soldiers fighting the enemy in World War II: "If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything."

Ideal values in the workplace include:  hard work, dependability, cooperation, initiative, ambition and high performance.  Ideal values within the family include:  unconditional love, patience, forgiveness, generosity, kindness and attentiveness.  Ideal values with regard to money and finances include: honesty, thrift, education, industry, persistence and performance.  Integrity is high up on the list of values.  A millionaire once said:  "Integrity is the value that guarantees all the other values."

Brian Tracy points out that your values need to be congruent with your goals.  "Be sure that as you scramble up the ladder of success, it is leaning against the right building," warns Stephen Covey.  If you are an environmentalist, you are not going to fit it at a factory where workers dump toxic waste into the nearby river.  He says that the people who are the happiest in this world are those whose behaviour is consistent with their beliefs.

Tracy maintains that people demonstrate their true values in their actions, especially when under pressure.  An example that comes to mind is my old neighbours.  They said that they loved their dogs, but they never walked them, they chained them up and ignored them.  Then, when times get tough and they were evicted from their home, they abandoned the dogs in the house, trapped inside with no air during a heat wave, walking around in their own filth.

"As within, so without" is a good motto to live by.  Whatever you put into your body or fill your mind with, often comes out in your thoughts and/or actions.  If you do nothing but watch violent movies, play violent video games, read violent books, listen to violent music and use violent language, chances are you are going to have violent thoughts and/or show violent behaviour.  By the same token, if you keep a positive attitude, watch positive shows, read positive books, listen to positive music and use positive language, chances are you are going to have both positive thoughts and actions.

Note:  For more information, read The Power of Positive Thinking by Norman Vincent Peale http://www.amazon.ca/Discovering-Positive-Thinking-Norman-Vincent/dp/8122204120.

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