How to Write a Query That Sizzles

"The main objective of a query is simple:  Make the agent care enough about your protagonist and your plot that she wants to read more." (Mary Kole)

The query is your first, and maybe your only, chance to get the attention of an agent or publisher. Make it count.  Remember your book is a marketable commodity.  Make sure your manuscript is polished and ready to go before you submit your query letter.  Author Jane Friedman offers some excellent suggestions for anyone drafting a query for a novel (http://janefriedman.com/2014/04/11/query-letters/).

She recommends that you mention how you came upon the agency or publisher you are querying. For instance, you may know another client of the agent or another author of the publisher. Mention that in your first paragraph.  Perhaps you heard him or her speak at a conference.  Include this information as well.  

Include any impressive credentials you may hold; for example, maybe you have a MFA from a university from which the agent is known to recruit authors.  Perhaps you won a national writing competition or you have written for prestigious journals or New York publishers.  

Ms. Friedman says that good salespeople develop a rapport with customers and understand their needs.  You have to do the same with your agent or publisher.  Make sure you personalize your letter. Include information that sets it apart from the hundreds of other queries sitting in the slush pile on a publisher's desk.

Your hook is what grabs the reader's attention from the get go.  Make sure you include your protagonist's name and what conflict he or she is involved in.  List the choices the protagonist has made in response to this conflict.  Ms. Friedman says the hook should have "sizzle".  Give examples of how your novel is filled with "strong actions, strong ramifications and and lots of emotion tied to each."  Agents eat this stuff up, according to Mary Kole (http://www.writersdigest.com/online-editor/how-to-write-the-perfect-query-letter).  You might also mention the setting or time period, especially if it is historical fiction.

Your hook needs a certain "je ne sais quoi" says Jane Friedman.  It should not seem flat:  inject your writing with "life, voice and personality".  However, at the same time, don't ramble on.  Brevity is also key:  limit your explanation to under 200 words.  The more you explain, the more you might "squeeze the life out of the story," says Ms. Friedman.  

Refrain from revealing the ending of your story.  Reserve that for the synopsis.  Mention no more than three or four characters.  Avoid mentioning minor plot points.  Avoid editorializing your story.

Here is a successful query for a mystery novel by Robert K. Lewis called Untold Damage:

"Mark Mallen has been a great cop before he succumbed to the needle.  Driven from the narcotics division and run off the force Mallen's been surviving day to the day in the gritty world of San Francisco's Tenderloin district.  But just as if it looks like his life will end in addiction, his upstairs neighbour comes to him begging for help in finding her daughter's murderer.  The man hidden deep inside the addict is prompted to action as Mallen sees an opportunity to redeem himself and re-emerge."

After writing your hook and a some plot points, it's time to write your bio.  Make it meaningful and charming.  Again, it should stand out to the agent or publisher who is reading it.

Next come your writing credentials.  Make sure they are specific; for example, if you have written for magazine, mention their titles.  If you have no fiction experience, include non-fiction credits.  It shows you have worked with an editor.  Popular online journals and blogs also count.  Only mention self-published books if they are relevant or if you have sold an incredible number of copies.  Include your line of work if it relates to your story; for example, if you are a teacher writing a children's book, that's useful information to share.  List your writing degrees?  Mention if you belong to any professional writing organizations (ex. RWA, MWA, SCBWI) or attended any major writer's retreats or workshops.  You can include your website or blog, especially if you have 100,000 plus followers. 

Here is an example of a bio included in a successful query letter for the novel Finny by Justin Kramon:

"Let me tell you a bit about myself.  I'm 27 years old, a 2004 graduate of the Workshop with an MFA in fiction.  The collection I've finished was awarded the Michener-Copernicus Society of America Award and I've received several other fellowship awards including a Sun Valley Writers Fellowship and a Book Hampton Fellowship.  I've published about half the stories in my collection in literary magazines including Glimmer, Train, Fence, Story Quarterly, and Boulevard.  A story published last year ("Shel" in Glimmer Train) was selected by the most recent Best American Short Stories as one of their "100 Distinguished Stories". (http://www.writersdigest.com/editor-blogs/guide-to-literary-agents/successful-queries-agent-ayesha-pande-and-justin-kramons-finny)

Include any special research you conducted for your book; for example, you spent a year as a missionary in the Congo; you lived in a commune in Israel; you climbed Mount Kilimanjaro (like Eric Walters did for his middle grade novel Between Heaven and Earth).

Jane Friedman reminds you to limit your query letter to one page.  The standard debut novel length is 80,000 words.  Avoid bragging about your work.  At the same time, avoid criticizing your story.  Do not overuse adjectives and adverbs.  Let your query speak for itself.  Last, but not least, don't forget to thank the agent or publisher for his or her time!   

Note:  To read several successful query letters, visit http://www.adweek.com/galleycat/23-literary-agent-query-letters-that-worked/77310.

For more information, read Query Letters That Rock by Linda Formichelli.

http://janefriedman.com/2014/04/11/query-letters/

Scenes: The Building Blocks of Your Story

"Scenes are what allow writers to abide by the timeless saying 'show, don't tell,"  (Justine Schofield)  

Scenes give us the opportunity to "create, exploit and flesh out" our characters.  "Scenes are just as important as the characters that inhabit them," according to blogger Justine Schofield (http://www.helpingwritersbecomeauthors.com/scenes-building-blocks-of-your-story/).  Each scene is composed of dialogue, action, interior speculation or monologue and narration.  Scenes should advance the plot forward.  If not, cut them out.  You only need just enough blocks to build the scene, no more, no less.

What constitutes a scene?  Justine Schofield says that three things call for a scene change when a new character is introduced, a current character exits or the setting changes.

Author of The Plot Whisperer Workbook, Martha Alderson (http://janefriedman.com/2012/08/29/7-elements-scene) recommends that you generate a scene list.  What does the main character want?  What steps will she take to get it?  What is stopping her at every turn?  Is the protagonist moving the scene forward?  Title each scene, or chapter if its a book, to keep track of them.

Ms. Alderson maintains that scenes have different layers, each which has a function.  The first layer establishes the setting of the story.  Justine Schofield mentions an exercise:  write down ten items in a room.  See how you can use those items to advance the scene.  For example, the main character might be so worried, he eats a whole loaf of bread.  He might push his desk chair out from under him because he is so frustrated.  He might, in a rage, throw a cup of coffee at his sibling.

The second layer of the scene allows the dramatic action to unfold.  This scene should be filled with conflict, tension and suspense.  The conflict doesn't have to be overt, but it should be there.  Setbacks and failure experienced by the protagonist lead to suspense.  Will or will he not succeed?  A change in emotional development in the main character is the third layer of the scene.  The main character should have a emotional reaction to the dramatic action in each scene.  A fourth layer should ensure that the details in the scene support the dominant theme of the story.

So what are you waiting for?  Get out your building blocks and start building.

http://hilladvisory.com/the-building-blocks-of-an-investigation/

How Conflict Fuels Your Story

"Conflict is denying the character his or her goal." (Rebecca Talley)

According to blogger Francis Reid Roland (https://www.standoutbooks.com/5-essential-story-elements/) , each scene needs a main character.  Each main character needs a goal. Without a goal, without a villain or circumstance preventing the protagonist from reaching that goal, there is no conflict.  The reader wants to route for the protagonist to reach his goal. Give the reader what he wants.  

Ms. Roland recommends writing out each scene on an index card with three things:  a goal, a conflict (someone or something preventing the protagonist from reaching his goal) and a result (the regression or even disaster that ensues).  Lay the index cards out in order enabling you to see where in your story there is little or no conflict.  

Blogger Rebecca Talley lists seven types of conflict.  They are:

1.  person vs fate

The Odyssey is a good example of a book exemplifying this type of conflict.  Slaughterhouse Five, by Kurt Vonnegut is another example.

2.  person vs self

The protagonist is fighting against his own prejudices, doubts or inner conflict.  Koala Lou by Mem Fox is a good example of this conflict.  Shakespeare's Hamlet is another example of person vs. self. The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath is yet another.

3.  person vs person

My Rotten Red Headed Older Brother by Patricia Polacco is one example.  The hero fights the villain in The Hundred Penny Box by Sharon Mathis.  The Nedley Papers by Scott Zibsendale is another example.

4.  person vs society

a.  triumph over corruption ex. Lewis R. Foster's The Gentleman from Montana (unpublished) which was adapted as the film Mr. Smith Goes to Washington.  Number the Stars by Lois Lowry is another example.

b.  reject society ex. Ray Bradbury's Fahrenheit 451

c.  succumb to corruption ex. George Orwell's 1984; Diary of Anne Frank; Suzanne Lieurance's The Lucky Baseball 

5.  person vs technology

The protagonist uses technology to gain power.  Technology becomes a bad influence on society as in Dr. Seuss' The Lorax.  Isaac Asimov's I, Robot is another example.  

6.  person vs nature

Robinson Crusoe features a family trapped on a desert island.  Moby Dick features a captain battling a whale.  Coyote Cry by Balor Byrd features the main character fighting a coyote.  Into Thin Air tells the story of a group of mountain climbers tackling Everest.

7.  person vs supernatural

Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde is a good example of this type of conflict.

Layer the conflict into your story the way a scout layers his fire with twigs and brush.  Let the conflict fuel your story.  If you're lucky, a strong wind will pick up and before you know, you'll have a roaring fire -- the kind that everyone will pull up a chair and roast marshmallows at.

Visit http://chapterbookchallenge.blogspot.ca/2013/03/how-conflict-fuels-story-by-rebecca.html.

http://screencraft.org/2014/05/13/ways-create-conflict-story-script-screenplay/

Plot: The Most Essential Ingredient of a Story

http://www.wattpad.com/story/10952084-story-ideas-%26-plot-lines

Plot is the most essential ingredient of a story according to Writer's Digest.  A successful story is one that gives the reader the feeling:  "I've got to know what happens next." (http://www.writersdigest.com/writing-articles/by-writing-genre/young-adult-childrens/crafting_an_effective_plot_for_childrens_books)

In a picture book, usually 32 pages, the writer has about 25 pages of plot to work with.  Something different should happen in each picture.  For example, the reader should see:

-a change of scene
-a change of expression
-a closeup
-a panorama
-a change of viewpoint
-a change of mood
-a surprise
-meanwhile (what's happening elsewhere)

Writer's Digest states that logic and cause & effect are the two most important components of plot. The plot should illustrate the theme of the book.  A picture book, with limited words, should take place in one time frame.  The movement should be linear.  Begin the story where it starts to become interesting.  Eliminate the preliminaries.  Here are examples of how to start your story:

-the main character makes a decision
-dramatic dialogue
-the day begins
-the main character's present situation
-the main character's typical response to a specific situation
-the start of a journey
-the main character sends/receives an important message

What drives plot?  According to Writer's Digest, "strong consistent characters drive the action forward".  For example, Harriet and the Promised Land demonstrates powerful characters.  To learn about more picture books with strong character development, visit http://www.readwritethink.org/files/resources/lesson_images/lesson803/803BookList.pdf.

a

http://www.amazon.com/Harriet-Promised-Land-Jacob-Lawrence/dp/0689809654

A chapter book with a strong main character is Amelia Bedelia, which focusses on a girl who takes everything literally.  When someone asks her to "draw the curtains" she gets out a pencil and paper and draws the curtains.

Amelia Bedelia, which debuted in 1963, is a series consisting of dozens of titles, the latest of which appeared in 2014 at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amelia_Bedelia.

As I stated in yesterday's post, you need to make your reader care about your characters.  The reader is interested in the story because he knows the protagonist, he knows his plight, he knows the choices he has made and he's curious about how he will proceed.  For example, the main character Jo in the novel Little Woman is a passionate one.  Her father writes from the Civil War front stating that he's suffering from an illness.  Jo immediately sells her hair to raise money for her father's care.  Jo's feelings drive the book's plot.

Illustration of Jo's father coming home from the Civil War courtesy 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Little_Women.

When writing your picture or chapter book, don't forget to follow the story arc or narrative arc which refers to the chronological construction of the plot.  "It is the rising and falling of the tension, and the pacing and timbre of the plot." (https://fcmalby.wordpress.com/2014/05/14/narrative-arc-shaping-your-story/)

While every story contains a beginning, a middle and an ending, don't forget it also must contain a crisis, a struggle and a discovery.  There must be "a transformation in the life of the main character". Otherwise, it is only a report, not a story. (http://www.writersdigest.com/online-editor/the-5-essential-story-ingredients)

http://penultimateword.com/editing-blogs/what-is-plot-pinning-down-fictions-elusive-structure/