The Marshmallow Experiment: Delayed Gratification Key to Success

Delayed gratification is "the choice of limiting the ability to get something now, for the pleasure of being able to have something bigger or better later on." (www.startofhappiness.com)

The Stanford Marshmallow Experiment was conducted by Professor Mischel at Stanford University in 1970.  A group of 32 nursery school children, half boys, half girls, served as subjects for the experiment.  They were left alone in a room with a tray full of marshmallows.  They had two choices: they could either eat one marshmallow immediately or wait 15 minutes to eat the marshmallow and be rewarded with a second one.  

Some children, of course, ate the marshmallow immediately.  Others waited, covering their eyes or tugging on their pigtails or even petting the marshmallows, but ultimately giving in to the temptation. A third of the children, however, delayed the immediate gratification and waited the full fifteen minutes, thereby receiving two marshmallows.  

Follow up studies were conducted in 1988, 1990 and 2011, which resulted in the following conclusions about the delayed gratification group:

1.  they were better psychologically adjusted individuals

2.  they were dependable

3.  they were self-motivated

4.  they scored better grades in high school and on SAT exams

5.  they had a more appropriate BMI (Body Mass Index)

6.  they were more financially successful

Professor Mischel proved a distinct link between delayed gratification and success socially, financially and health-wise later in life.  He even used his findings to kick a three pack a day smoking habit.  You can read about the professor's results in his recent book The Marshmallow Test: Mastering Self-Control (2014) at http://www.amazon.ca/The-Marshmallow-Test-Mastering-Self-Control/dp/1469249081 .

Like the children in the Stanford study who ate the marshmallow right away, we live in an immediate gratification society.  We want it and we want it now.  The United States credit card debt sits at an astonishing $448 billion.  And yet in my grandfather's time, credit cards were unheard of.  He paid cash for everything.  And he knew how to save his money.  

Brian Tracy points out that saving your money isn't as impossible as you might think.  He quotes George Klasson, the author of The Richest Man in Babylon, who states that if we simply save 10% of our gross income, we will become financially independent.  For instance, if you save $100 a month from age 20 to 65, and reap 10% interest per year on those savings, you will see a healthy return of

$1,100,000 by the time you retire.

The same goes for your health.  North America struggles with the obesity issue today.  Say your goal is to lose 25 pounds.  You say that it's impossible because of your age (forty-something) and your slow metabolism.  Here is a strategy that might work for you.  Cut 100 calories from your diet each day.  Burn 150 calories doing exercise.  That's 250 calories less each day.  Times that by 7 days per week equals 1750 calories.  That's a half a pound a week (a pound equals 3500 calories) which translates into 26 pounds a year.  You've surpassed your goal!

The same goes for your marriage.  According to Fox News, the American divorce rate is 50% (there were twice as many marriages as divorces in 2013).  Divorce is an epidemic.  The easy thing to do when your spouse looks at you the wrong way is to say:  "I'm out of here!"  The difficult thing to do is wait it out, to put your heart and soul into making the marriage work.  Couples who do take the time and effort to save their marriages often end up with a stronger relationship.  

Take Louis Zamperini in the book Unbroken by Laura Hillenbrand at http://www.amazon.ca/Unbroken-World-Survival-Resilience-Redemption/dp/0812974492.  The Olympian was tortured in a Japanese prisoner of war camp for two and a half years.  In 1946, he married Cynthia Applewhite and she had a child but he couldn't shake his nightmares.  His post traumatic stress led him to binge drinking.  After three years his wife couldn't take it anymore and asked for a divorce.  But she returned to pack her clothes and the neighbour invited her to the Billy Graham Crusade in Los Angeles.  There, Cynthia gave her life to Christ and returned home to Louis saying she no longer wanted a divorce:  she wanted to work on the marriage. Louis, too, was willing to do anything to save their marriage.  After two night at the Billy Graham crusade, he gave his life to Christ and forgave his torturers.  Now he was able to put his heart and soul into the marriage.  The Zamperinis had a healthy marriage for decades until Louis' wife passed away in 2001.  

No matter what the area of your life, remember the Stanford Study.  Be patient.  Delay gratification. Hold out for the two marshmallows.  They're worth the wait!

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Sacrifice: Part of Success

"To forfeit something for something else considered to have greater value." 

(American Heritage Dictionary)

Society preaches that we can have our cake and eat it too.  We see headlines like "Get ripped without long workouts!" and "Get rich without having to work hard!" and "Loose 20 pounds and eat what you want!" and "Buy a house and pay nothing down!"  The message is that we can reach our goals without giving up anything else.  It comes as no surprise, then, that the United States has a credit card debt of $886 billion!

As Frederick Douglass once said:  "A man,at times, gets something for nothing, but it will, in his hands, amount to nothing."  If you don't work to earn your fortune, you don't appreciate it nearly as much.  With every goal comes sacrifice.  If you want to become a doctor, you must give up time with your family and friends to put in the necessary hours at medical school.  If you want to become a blockbuster actor, you must give up your anonymity for fame.  If you want to become a proficient writer, you must knuckle down and write daily, rather than watching television or shopping at the mall.

Take the story of Le Van Vu.  He belonged to a successful family in North Vietnam who, in the early 1960's, owned one third of the real estate.  His father was killed by the Communists, forcing he and his mother to flee to South Vietnam.  Le worked hard in school and became a lawyer.  Capitalizing on the increasing American presence in the South by the mid-1960's, Le became a successful builder. However, on a trip to the North, Le was captured and imprisoned.

After three years, Le made a daring escape and returned to the South and his family.  He started a fishing company, soon becoming the largest canner in South Vietnam.  However, with the Communists threatening to invade, Le made a decision:  he and his wife decided to leave Vietnam. 

In exchange for all of the gold he owned, Le sought passage to the Phillipines.  In only two years, he developped the fishing industry in his new country.  

However, the Van Vu's ultimate goal was to go to America.  On the trip across the Atlantic, Le became demoralized at the thought of starting over yet again.  He was about to jump overboard when his wife stopped him, promising to help him along the journey.  His wife's encouragement was all that he needed.  

They arrived in Houston, Texas with no money and no knowledge of English.  Le's cousin invited them to work at his bakery during the day and they took English courses at night.  The cousin offered to sell him the bakery once he came up with the $30,000 down payment.  Le knew that if he rented an apartment, it would take him forever to come up with the money.  So he and his wife lived in the back of the bakery for two years, surviving on a diet of baked goods and taking sponge baths in the mall's washroom.  

After two years, Le presented his cousin with a cheque for $30,000.  Now he owned the bakery.  But he wasn't ready to move into an apartment just yet.  He and his wife continued to live in the back of the bakery until they could come up with the $90,000 balance they owed Le's cousin.  Finally, after another year of sponge baths and baked goods, Le made good on his promise, presenting his cousin with a cheque for the remainder of the loan; he owned the bakery free and clear.

Twenty years later, at the publishing of his story in Chicken Soup for the Soul, Le Van Vu was a millionaire many times over.  For the entire story, read 2.  "Willing to Pay the Price", Chicken Soup for the Soul (1993) at http://www.chickensoup.com/book-story/36237/willing-to-pay-the-price. 

Source:  www.theartofmanliness.com

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