Couple on Beach

Alex Colville's Couple on Beach is likely a painting of him and his wife sun bathing in Nova Scotia. The wife lays on her side, her hat covering her face.  The husband, squatting next to her, appears to be looking out towards the horizon.  The rippled surface of the water meets the blue sky, scudded with puffy white clouds.

While this scene likely takes place in Nova Scotia in 1957, because we can't see the faces, this could be any couple.  It could be my husband and I on our honeymoon in British Columbia in 1992.  We packed a picnic lunch and headed to Okanagan Lake where we sunbathed.  We took a dip in the lake. In our newlywed frame of mind, we were oblivious of everyone else.  We didn't realize that Ogopogo was lurking in the lake's depths.  It was only later that Rob discovered his ring was missing. But we refused to let it spoil our glorious day.  

Note:  While Rob and I are about to celebrate our 25th wedding anniversary this summer, Alex and Rhoda Colville were happily married for 70 years!

https://www.thestar.com/entertainment/visualarts/2014/08/21/visual_art_alex_colville_art_gallery_of_ontario_ago_exhibition_painting.html

Break Free From "I'd Be Happy If..."

Author Srikumar Rao says that it is all well and good to set and achieve goals.  However, break free from the "I'd Be Happy If..." mentality.  Passion comes from within, not without.  "Plug into your hard-wired happiness." Think of your life ten years ago.  You had goals and dreams.  Have you not achieved some or many of those goals?  But are you any happier than you were ten years ago?

About 10 years ago, I wrote a piece for an online writing course I took inspired by the Bare Naked Ladies song "The Old Apartment"(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=quYV9nASs8Q).  It was our first year of marriage.  I was just starting out in my teaching career.  I had a Teacher's College loan as well as a used car loan at a whopping 13%.  My husband Rob was attending university full time to get his Master's.  As newlyweds, we lived in a 900-square foot attic apartment in Hamilton, Ontario.  We brushed our teeth in the kitchen sink.  Mrs. Hunt, a divorcee who had lived in the second floor apartment for 20 years would relay to Rob's Oma, who lived on the first floor, whenever we had a fight.  Oma would phone Rob's Mom who in turn would phone Rob.  One day, Rob put his suitcase in the back of his car and left sans moi.  Mrs. Hunt told Oma that he was leaving me!  It turned out that he was picking me up at the Paris school where I taught and we were going to drive together to my parents' house in Grand Bend.  Believe it or not, I look back fondly on that first year of marriage: we had next to nothing materially but we had each other.

The problem is that the "I'd Be Happy If..." model that we follow is flawed.  Don't waste all your time changing the IF.  Be content in the here and now.  Think about a scene that took your breath away at on time in your life, like a rainbow over a valley.  You took in the scene, took a deep breath and thanked God for the beauty all around you.  You didn't proceed to change the scene:  trim a tree or make the rainbow a little bit higher.  You accepted the universe as is.

You can change your action but you can't change the outcome.  Srikumar Rao mentions a husband who had been neglecting his wife.  He decided to change the situation and bought her a pretty dress for a special occasion.  His wife, however, did not react the way he expected her to:  the dress was the wrong size and the wrong colour.  He received the opposite reaction to what he intended.  Focus, on the action, not the outcome.

Imagine if a 12 month old baby got discouraged every time she fell after taking a few steps.  Imagine if she berated herself over and over again.  Imagine if she needed to go for counselling every time she had a misstep.  She would never learn how to walk.  But she perseveres and she does reach the point of walking without stumbling.  Enjoy the process...and the rest will take care of itself.


Source:  Ted Talk Plug into Your Hard Wired Happiness by Srikumar Rao (https://www.ted.com/talks/srikumar_rao_plug_into_your_hard_wired_happiness).

https://www.ted.com/talks/srikumar_rao_plug_into_your_hard_wired_happiness

Piano Tuner

"Many [piano tuners] play octaves using the thumb and the third finger since the little finger is not strong enough to withstand the repeated stress." 
(http://www.best-norman-rockwell-art.com/1947-piano-tuner.html)

We grew up in a non-smoking household.  None of my six family members smoked.  No guests were allowed to smoke.  But there was one visitor, who came no more than once a year, who was permitted to smoke:  the piano tuner.  My dad was picky about his piano and not just anyone could touch it.
I always knew when the piano tuner had visited.  When I arrived home form school the doors and windows would be wide open and the living room would smell like smoke.

Piano tuners are a breed unto themselves.  The piano tuner would arrive with a case full of tools.  He would prop up the back of our antique grand piano, the first piece of furniture (even before a sofa) to fill my parents' living room as newlyweds over fifty-five years ago.  He would light up a cigar, stick it in between his teeth, and start tapping on the ivory keys of our Mason & Risch.

A piano tuner's work is tedious; it can't be rushed.  He pounds the notes over and over again until his fingers are numb.  "Many [piano tuners] play octaves using the thumb and the third finger since the little finger is not strong enough to withstand the repeated stress." I suppose that's why the piano tuner smoked cigars rather than cigarettes.  He knew he was in for a long day.

In Norman Rockwell's Piano Tuner, a little boy waits patiently, his hands folded behind his back, as a man tinkers at the keys of his piano.  The man is completely absorbed in his work.  He cocks his ear towards the piano, not wanting to miss a note.  A coat, umbrella and towel rest on the piano bench. Light seeps through a nearby window.  But the little boy does not go outside to play; he still waits until it his turn to sit at the piano once again.

http://www.best-norman-rockwell-art.com/1947-piano-tuner.html

Marriage License

The young couple arrives at the clerk's office, full of excitement.  Today. June 30, 1955, is the most important day of their lives.  They are about to say "I do".  The groom wears a white suit, the bride, a bright yellow dress.

The clerk, however, sits in his chair, unamused.  He has seen it all before.  He seems to mimic his surroundings:  paint peels from the walls; cigarette butts sit discarded on the floor; an open map lies discarded on top of a bookshelf.  But the clerk is not all bad.  A tabby cat lingers by his chair.

After a brief ceremony, the clerk will go on with his mundane affairs.  However, the new couple will go out into the brave new world, its light emanating through the arched window.

http://www.best-norman-rockwell-art.com/1955-the-marriage-license.html